It Was A Simple Card That Said, "Every Father Should"

“The Finale, The Thing You’re Been Waiting For All Season, Is Here”

"Love Is Best As Leftovers"

“It Was Just A Simple Card That Said ‘Every Father Should’”

“I Ate The Turkey and Slept Through All Of It”

“Alright, So What’s In Your Escort Package?”

“What I Don’t Want Is A Club That Has A Parent’s Night”

“Yeah I Probably Have Gout, That’s Probably What It Is”

“I Mean This Is A Sports Podcast And You’re Telling Me I Can’t Do Sports Betting?”

“I’m Here To Tell You To Kill All Your Dreams”

“I Guess I Should Be Celebrating With My Family Too In Some Capacity”

“And It Started Gettin Dangerous”

“Speaking Of Saving Money Or Not Saving Money, My Brother Had a Kid This Week”

"I Really Really Really Wanna Zigazig Ah"

"Have You Tossed A Lassoo?"

“I Feel Like I’m Going In There With The Goal Of Like Winning Or Something”

"You Ever Uh, You Ever Been Haunted?"

"I Mean Is It So Wrong To Want People To Drop A Nominal Payment Off In My Mailbox?"

"I Wanted A Squatty Potty And Then I Realized I Could Just Take A Stool And Put My Feet On It"

"You're A Puritan Witch, You're A Puritan Witch"